


Chicken or Beef

by RubraSaetaFictor



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s03e02 The Sign of Three, Holmes Brothers, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 15:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6085443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubraSaetaFictor/pseuds/RubraSaetaFictor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sign of Three wasn’t the first conversation Mycroft and Sherlock had about the wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chicken or Beef

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Silverblazehorse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverblazehorse/gifts).



Mycroft looked at the caller ID on his phone and lifted it to his ear with a sigh.

A low voice cut across the line, “Chicken or Beef?”

“Good morning, Sherlock. You know, it’s generally considered polite to say hello, or at a minimum, to introduce oneself when making a phone call.”

“You know it’s me. Chicken or beef?”

“Lovely weather we’re having, don’t you think?”

“Oh please, you hate small talk more than anyone I know. Chicken or beef?”

“Chicken is generally bland, but is difficult to cook poorly, and has some usefulness as a lean protein. Beef, on the other hand, has a far more complex flavor that is often ruined by over-cooking. What, pray tell, is the origin of this question?”

“You neglected to select a food choice on your invitation response.”

“The wedding.” Mycroft sat down, this might take a while.

“Of course, the wedding. You didn’t select an option and the caterers need a headcount soon.”

“I’m quite certain I clearly marked ‘Declines with regrets.’”

“You're getting old, so I just assumed you couldn’t read the small print and checked the wrong line in error.”

“I am _older_ than you, I am not _old_. Furthermore, I have no intention of spending a morning in a church listening to an overlong ceremony where two people who are clearly already having intercourse pretend be virgins and express eternal devotion after having known each other for mere months.”

“Then just come to the night do. There’ll be cake.”

“Really? Brother mine, your negotiation skills truly leave something to be desired. You’re attempting to tempt me with wedding cake? The architectural requirements of wedding cakes generally require an overly-dense sponge encased in fondant, which is overly sweet at best and spectacularly bland at worst. Hardly worth the calorie count, I would say.”

“You have to come.”

Mycroft raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“It’s important.”

“To whom?”

“To John,” Sherlock insisted, “and Mary, of course.”

“Of course.”  Mycroft leaned forward in his chair, “Sherlock, don’t you think you’re getting in a bit too deep?”

“Both John and Mary are working full-time and the logistics of a wedding are, quite frankly, astonishing.  John asked me to be his best man, it’s only right I lend a hand.”

“I wasn’t just talking about the wedding, Sherlock.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “So John named you his best man then, did he?”

“Of course he did. I’m his _best friend_.”

“Congratulations, Sherlock, you made a friend. Shall I throw you a party as well?”

There was a pause before Sherlock replied. “I’m not you, Mycroft.”

“No, you most certainly are not. Enjoy your wedding planning, Sherlock, and don’t forget the speech. People expect the best man to be witty.” Mycroft smiled, his voice bright and cheery, “Have a nice day.”

Mycroft pressed the “End Call” button on his phone and the smile melted from his face. He looked at his brother’s name, still on the screen of his phone, and sighed again as the screen went black.

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for Silverblazehorse, who prompted "My favorite character is Mycroft and I'm endlessly intrigued by the bittersweet relationship between the brothers."


End file.
